Did you hear me? I’m not all surprised. That was a Yahoo for every man and woman who has ever tried to move photographs from a Samsung phone to a Mac. A Yahoo that should travel around the world and bite every smartarse, computer literate YouTube downloading fascist in the bum.
I’d transferred hundreds of photo’s in April with no worries whatsoever. It was obviously such a simple thing to do I didn’t even write down how I did it. That’s the standard isn’t it? When you think you’re going to forget the 28th version of a sodding password you have to change every three months, then of course you are going to write it down. And not only that, you are going to write it down in the book that says “Passwords and other important stuff” on the front so you don’t chuck it out by mistake. I scoured the pages of my precious book but there was no reference to moving photo files from one device to another which led me to believe it was blindingly simple and would take no time at all. I tried. I failed and failed and failed so many times I thought I was getting Alzheimer’s. It wasn’t until I stumbled upon some obscure reference to the Samsung manufacturers making some cloud thing obsolete that I realized external factors were to blame. Enter Google Drive. Job done in under five minutes. Now I’ve got to remove all the apps I’ve downloaded and rescind all the permission I’ve given to everyone on the planet to access my computer, my contacts, my photo’s and my everythingelse-that-they-could-possibly-want-to-know. I am beginning to see why people send pipe bombs in the mail.

I am old enough to know that when something works you leave it alone. Jeans are a fine example of this. When I was 17 they were an anti-establishment “up-you” item of clothing and are now worn as a uniform by all and sundry and are as varied as the all and the sundry themselves. But unlike technology, jeans continue to do what they’re supposed to do. We put them on and we’re rebelling against work, or the parent who can’t understand why anyone would purchase an item of clothing that’s already ripped or the belly roll that has us lying flat on the bed forcing the zip to close. Jeans are loved the world over and for what? For doing their job.
I’m waiting for the first-wave ditching of Apple watches. I want to say to their snazzy wearer, see those old people out for a walk wearing jeans? Note how they wear an ancient
time- piece around their wrist and ignore the sound of their phone message app as they pass you by. That is not because they can’t hear it, (though some of them can’t!), it’s because they need glasses to read the stupid message telling them Samsung has evaporated their cloud and they will never again be able to transfer photo’s from their phone without getting a heart bypass first.
And one day, bright-eyed Apple watch wearer, one day it will happen to you.