Waiting for Vodfone

I have spent the morning on hold. I decided we needed Nexflix and since Vodofone were offering it for 12 months no charge, I couldn’t resist. And I have to say, the Vodofone sales team were on the ball. Netflix, unlimited broadband, reduced home rental – all for scrapping the free calls to Australia that I don’t make. Win -win. Well, not really. So far it’s been 2 weeks and I’m still waiting to view an episode of Peaky Blinders.  Apparently it’s our fault for having an “old” TV that requires a mysterious box. I was intially patient but after a week of waiting I phoned them and ask when the mysterious box was going to be delivered. “Oh no Mrs And-er-son, we get a technician to come out”. Delightful. “He will come on the 24th. In the morning.” I change my appointments to the afternoon. Mid morning I call the Big V and mention that I’m wondering if they’re coming today because we never got a message asking us to be home. After 4 revolutions of the playlist Ms Horrible-Customer-Care said I wouldn’t need anyone to come and she was transferring me to Tech Support who would do it over the phone, “Just wait Mrs And-er-son I will transfer you in, one….two….three!” Tech Support’s play list is exactly the same as the Wait in Hell playlist only this time I get 6 revolutions. I am getting a little fed up with “Here comes the Sun”. I’d prefer “Here comes the service I’m paying you for” but I wait. I’m putting the last peg on the first load of washing and Yes! A voice out of my phone saying ….”I can’t hear you, is there anyone there? If no-one answers I’m hanging up..” I grab the phone and scream,  ‘YES!!!! I’m here! I’m here!” but he’s gone and I face the dilemma. Do I really need to do this? “Whimp” goes my inner critic so I put on another load of washing, make a cup of tea and head once more into the Dark Lands of Vodofone.  2 playlist revolutions  later and I finally get someone who speaks English and understands. In fact no-one was more delighted than she when I remembered the 4 digit pin. I had forward momentum. I replayed yet again the entire saga. “And by the way,” I added, “no-one can phone us.” She didn’t even pause. “Of course Mrs And-er-son. The line is in maintainance until the technician comes.” Well, well well. That would have been nice to know because I’ve also spent a week reprogramming our phone and had decided it was due for replacement. “Breathe and wave” I thought to myself as I listened to  Mz Really-Nice-and-Thorough Customer Care operator who thought the best thing was to talk to tech support. “I’ll just place you on hold for a minute.” Manical laughter isn’t helpful – but I managed to hang out another load of washing, take another trip to the toilet and gather all the stuff I need for this afternoon in one place. EVENTUALLY I’m talking to Mr Tech Support himself whose first words are “Yes they are coming this afternoon.” That would be the afternoon I changed all my appointments to so I could accommodate them this morning. His next words however, spoke even louder. “And if they don’t turn up please phone us tomorrow and we can book you another time.” Photo on 10-08-18 at 12.31 PM


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