The Wobbly Thing.

Switch on with the remote then using the playstation controller push the playstation icon to make the screen go blue. (Not an issue. A child could do this.) and you can see the list of instructions. (Isn’t that a menu? ).

Click on x for Ben. (Nonono. How do I do that? Okayyyy, got it.)Use the wobbly thing on the left to move around (surely she means navigate?) then click on the TV icon and press x to chose the one you want.

(Hahahahehaha. Remember me teaching you how to tie your shoelaces. That was easy. Oh no, I don’t want Stan. How do I get out of this?)

Use the wobbly thing.

(I don’t know how to use the wobbly thing! Who would invent an ergonomic controller with a wobbly thing? I mean this is television we’re watching here, not the world of makebelieve mahem. Okay. Same thing. I didn’t say that aloud did I?)

Now, it’s x to stop (No? Didn’t she just say we used x to choose the one I wanted?) x? Are you sure it’s x?

Yes Nanny. It’s x. O to go back and the wobbly thing to fast forward. Got it now?


To turn it off you click the playstation icon on the controller, go straight up with the wobbly thing and go to power options.

(Familiar territory! I recognize that on/off symbol. Anyone can do this bit)

Then x on the power options. Don’t touch the others! Ever! Then click on –

You mean x it? (A pun! In the midst of all this. I am so cool.)

(Eye roll – very well controlled and subtle, but an eye roll nonetheless) Yes. Choose turn off PS4. Not the power. P-S-4.

Wow. Thank you. (I’ll be reading my book.) So that’s it?

No. then you have to turn off the tv.

(Of course you do.) With this? (waving the playstation remote in the air)

She leans over the bed and picks up the tv remote. No. With this.

Please, let me do it…I’ve written it all down now. See, a whole a4 page. I’m pretty sure I can handle the tv remote.

Go on then.


(If that tv remote hadn’t have turned off the tv I’d have died)

Right. Want to go over it again? Aw, I forgot. You have to use this controller because that other one doesn’t charge.

(Wonder if it has anything to do with that cable I’m using to charge my phone? Probably not. But it does charge the phone. Better not say anything just in case)


What are these buttons for?

Oh, you can use them instead of the wobbly thing.

Really? These plain backwards and forwards and up and down buttons?


So why did you show me the wobbly thing?

(Strange look) Because it’s easier.

(Beautific smile) Of course it is. #don’tbelieveateenager

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