There was a time we felt good about our new kitchen appliances. During that week we laughed at ourselves for not being able to turn on the oven or explain why the induction top suddenly decided H was more important than any of the temperature range from 1-9. We reached an unspoken agreement that understanding the defrost ability in the microwave wasn’t cruical when you can blast something in 30sec and repeat that until the juices run. It wasn’t until we turned on the extractor fan that we went straight to hell. Not sucked there because I know that’s not one of it’s strengths, but a noise hell I can only equate to standing beside a jet engine. We knew we’d made a TOTAL MISTAKE with that appliance and have since purchased a very silent, smelly candle which seems to work almost as well. Eventually we (hahaha, I ), got out the instructions for the microwave and worked out how many pushes of the buttons it took to perform the simple tasks a microwave should perform by osmosis. All this was last year. The push plate on the microwave remains as responsive as a teenager asked to clean up their room but it still operates, it’s the door of the oven thats causing a problem. I can close the door, I can lean against the door, I can plead or abuse the door – it makes no damned difference. As soon as I’m gone, it slips the few millimeters it needs to get into relaxed mode, the oven light goes on and the door beeps. It’s like living in a bird cage. My perfectly reasonable response was to complain. Not to the shop but my husband who did the decent thing and went back to the shop where he was told we have to ‘do it online’. Whatever that meant. So I YouTubed slack oven doors. I didn’t go down slipping the cut nail up the hinge but I did spend a good ten minutes wedging “washcloths” (shows how universal this is), in front of the hinges and pushing the door closed. Didn’t work. And when I thought about it – why should it? Obviously someone spied a gap in the market and wanted to get famous. A week later my husband and I had another conversation and I finally understood we weren’t supposed to get the cure online, we just had to register our fault. I looked it up. They required the general stuff you’d expect like the date of purchase and the receipt. Yesterday afternoon I looked in all the folders and the box where we keep our receipts. I found proof of purchase for the hairclippers we bought ten years ago but nothing for the kitchen appliances. We couldn’t believe it. We knew there was a high liklihood of this happening but we hadn’t kept the receipt? My husband went to his filing system. Nothing on the pin board by the back door or the nails in the garage wall and as the sun was about to set, nothing in the bins of papers in his cupboard. I eventually downloaded last years bank statements and what, may you ask, did I find? Our new kitchen appliances were purchased on the 26th May 2021. They were all now three days out of warranty. You have to admire the Chinese craftsperson who can get obsolescence down to days but I think I’d admire them more if the stuff worked. Last night I finally accepted the little orange tile wedge to jam against the side of the oven door. Ever since the saga began my husband has been offering the little orange tile wedge to jam against the side of the oven door. Last night I discovered if you get it in exactly the right place it works a treat.