The first thing I did was drop the toddler on the floor. In my defense, it was early days and I didn’t know then that she still needed to learn how to bend in the middle. With her legs stuck out like an Olympic skier she went downhill at a hundred miles an hour, fell … More Cousins and other close relations
We are going to escape on Thursday. For most people escaping was the first thing they did when the lockdown ended but for us, everything was here. The writing, the creating, the cars – what was the point of forcing ourselves out into the world where crazy people lived? But now, it’s time. The first … More Taking a trip up the road.
I cannot imagine a life without children. They arrive whenever they feel it’s time and shoot off when they’re done. In the meantime, everything you have is theirs and that not only includes run of the mill stuff like food and hair gel, but also your time and the interior recesses of your brain. We … More The Super Species
I farted in the post office the other day. It made me glad to be old. When you have a wrinkled exterior people expect less of you and farting in the post office is pretty much living up to expectations. For me, it was one of those OMG did I really do that? moments, followed closely … More Farting in the post office
Am I the only person who can’t understand why Boots have a night cream they say works for 24 hours?
I have begun keeping a list of authors on my phone for those days in the library when you have no time and yet don’t want to leave without something decent. There are some names I will never need to write down; Elizabeth Strout, Jane Harpur, Jane Smiley, Stephen King, Wally Lamb, Kate Atkinson, Nicholas … More Authors of Awesomeness
I love knitting. Unlike sewing with its exactness, knitting is an activity that allows for mistakes and watching tv at the same time. As the years progress, I have developed a level of proficency – though I suspect that I reached my peak with my last baby shawl and am now on the downward slope … More In the company of Knitters
I cancelled my mother’s life insurance. It was a bit tricky because I knew if she died the next day I would really be annoyed, but she will be 89 years old tomorrow and as of six months ago, has prepaid her funeral and no longer requires the $8,000 this insurance policy was promising to … More Sucking blood from a very hard stone.
I hit a couple of milestones last week. I finished the first draft of my novel and I found myself as plump as a broody hen. I think the two are directly linked because for me, writing 62,000 words (not including the 25,000 in the outtake file), requires sitting on my bum hovering up whatever … More Fat and Finished
I’m the sort of person who needs three forms when I’m on the plane going into the US and they tell you you can’t make a mistake on the form. I always make a mistake. It’s because I think faster than I can write and my first thoughts are not necessarily spellchecked or belonging to … More Opportunity lost
I was 18 years old when I flew by myself from New Zealand, to South Bend, Indiana. It was 1972. I cried all the way from Invercargill to Christchurch which is a long trip in a turbo prop plane. I didn’t even have a passport. When I left Auckland a few hours later, I had … More Family