What was the worst thing you did to your kids? I left one of mine behind on the bed once. Packed up the car and was half way down the hill when a little voice from the back piped up. ‘Aren’t we taking the baby?’ I’ve always considered it an understandable mistake. The kid was … More The Worst Greatest Invention of All Time.
I grew up with boys. I had a brother 18 months younger than I and all my cousins were boys. When I started Drummond School there were two girls in my class – counting me, and eleven boys. By the time I was ten no tree was unable to be climbed, opinions were voiced and … More Women
So you’re on Facebook and you have a photo of your dog instead of you. I don’t know your dog but I have to assume you’ve chosen your dog’s photo because you look alike. That’s what they say isn’t it, people morph into their dogs? Not happening you say? Are you sure? Not even one … More Face like a Dog
Who hasn’t lied to their physio? Come on, it’s not like lying to God or pretending you haven’t had the last piece of cake when you jolly well did, lying to the physio is like telling the truth about a certain red suited man who comes down the chimney. I let my kids find that … More Lying to the Physio
The sleepover came and went with no drama to speak of. We took the gold BMW convertible which is sometimes a mistake because people can get a bit shitty and think you’re flaunting your wealth. Just putting it on the table, – no wealth to flaunt. And the car is 18 years old, but that … More Kaikoura
We are going to escape on Thursday. For most people escaping was the first thing they did when the lockdown ended but for us, everything was here. The writing, the creating, the cars – what was the point of forcing ourselves out into the world where crazy people lived? But now, it’s time. The first … More Taking a trip up the road.
I cannot imagine a life without children. They arrive whenever they feel it’s time and shoot off when they’re done. In the meantime, everything you have is theirs and that not only includes run of the mill stuff like food and hair gel, but also your time and the interior recesses of your brain. We … More The Super Species
I farted in the post office the other day. It made me glad to be old. When you have a wrinkled exterior people expect less of you and farting in the post office is pretty much living up to expectations. For me, it was one of those OMG did I really do that? moments, followed closely … More Farting in the post office
Am I the only person who can’t understand why Boots have a night cream they say works for 24 hours?
I have begun keeping a list of authors on my phone for those days in the library when you have no time and yet don’t want to leave without something decent. There are some names I will never need to write down; Elizabeth Strout, Jane Harpur, Jane Smiley, Stephen King, Wally Lamb, Kate Atkinson, Nicholas … More Authors of Awesomeness