Robyn Anderson

The week before last I had an appointment to get my hair cut. I do not know how to cut and colour hair though I do know how I like to look. Recently I’ve been suggesting to my hairdresser that we allow the grey to sneak on in and that I’d like a different hair style. The haircut before this one, I brought along pictures to show what I wanted but this last haircut was, as they say in disaster management, a total ballsup. The hairdresser was excited about a family event and the first thing she did was nix the idea of the greys. ‘Not enough of them to make it worthwhile,’ she said. I am still not entirely certain about that because when I look in the mirror I see quite a few, but I went along with it. It wasn’t until the scissors came out that I felt a little apprehension. ‘So it’s going to be the same at the back only longer?’ I asked. I was reassured that it was. The fact that the hair falling from my head onto the floor seemed quite substantial had me slightly nervous but I let it go. Which was a mistake because seconds later a large slice came out of one side and I knew she was on autopilot recreating the sort of hairstyle I had back when I was working. I could’ve wept. Now everytime I wash it, brush it, or merely catch sight of it I am reminded that it was my fault. I need listen to my intuition and take control of things like this before they turn into disasters. I also thought that was enough of a disaster to last at least until October.

Two days after my balding experience, the Aussie family made it out of Covid Country on the last flight from Queensland and have been alternating accommodation with us and the other grandparents. On one of our free days I thought I’d go and look for a board game we could all learn together. My plan was to park in the upstairs car park at Hornby Mall, click in on the covid app and go on to Whitcoulls for a reccie. I parked and was walking to the entrance of the mall, phone in hand looking to see where they’d placed the covid app when suddenly I was airborne. In that split second I recall thinking – don’t land on your outstretched hands! The next thing I was flat on the ground outside the main door wondering wtf went wrong. When I regained a little composure I saw I’d tripped over the thing to stop cars driving straight into the mall. I have to own up to having done something similar once before when I worked at the Uni. That time I was picked up and dusted off by a charming young man. This time it was a clutch of concerned citizens arguing above my head about the best course of action while I continued to lie on the ground wondering if the fact that I didn’t feel anything other than very confused, was a good sign or not. Eventually I was put in a wheelchair – and I was quite happy about it, which goes to show how confused I was. Ten minutes later I was hobbling back to my car in search of my waterbottle and a moment or two of peace in which to assess my physical well being. The following day I had the smallest bruise on one knee and a totally smashed up phone screen. To cheer me up my sister sent a list of her spectacular falls from various cities around the world. She is 7 years younger than me and when she falls she really makes it count. I mean, who falls through a road?

The drama of my ‘accident’ did not receed as the greatest damage had been done to my phone.

Everytime I touched it, I was in danger of a serious bleeding event. Being of a practical bent, I kept it in a ziplock bag. If anyone needs to know if the phone still works – yes it does. It also makes the young and fashion-conscious cringe which is another excellent reason for doing it.

I needed a new phone screen. It quickly became apparent it would be cheaper to buy a new phone that could ‘talk’ to my computer and the rest of the week – apart from the day I sliced the top of my middle finger off with the very sharp knife hiding in the washing up water, was spent in search of the elusive phone. I learned that the more you are exposed to the exhorbitant prices of phones the more normal that price becomes. Where once you thought $500 would break you, that $500 quickly becomes six then seven and finally the one I did get was $799 and I thought I got a good deal. ‘But’, said, the concerned sales assistant, ‘you do realize it only has one camera?’ What does that mean? I only need one camera. I can’t operate one with each eye. What he should’ve been telling me was that the $35 charger that didn’t come with the phone, wasn’t available in his store and I had to go to another one that was miles away. It has also taken three full days to set up. A process that is still a work in progress. When I complained how slippery the outside case was, without raising an eye from her own screen my grand daughter said she didn’t know anyone who didn’t have a phone cover. Why hadn’t I bought one when I bought the phone? Because………I’ve had a really shitty week and I’d just paid a Kings ransom for a phone with only one camera and dropping another gold brick on a phone cover was the last thing on my mind!

It’s the first thing on the list for next week.

But, things would have been so much worse if I hadn’t have had the company of people I love that I normally have to pay thousands of dollars to visit. Without them I could quite possibly be locked up somewhere pulling out my hair.